Thursday, October 29, 2015

Following ones own advice is something I think most of us must get better at. I always tell my friends and others I speak to who happen to be in doubt or about to make a big decision in life: Follow your gut feeling! Listen to your heart! Your heart will never lie to you... Lately I’ve come to realize I have made the same mistake that many of us do. Also we do it who often seem to have the right answers to other people’s worries. Namely: I’ve been lying to myself. Or, should I say: I let myself, or my ego, be misguided by temptation. 

Some of you old readers of my other blog might remember my little start up business I created up in Massachusetts? 
My vegan take out/catering service that was created with my love for healthy, wholesome, organic, plant based food, the company I had barely time to open before I got offered a massive “once in a lifetime” opportunity in Miami. A wonderful, grand chance which meant I’d run my very own restaurant in a tropical city, far from the cold of Rockland MA. It would be huge with its 3200 sq. ft., and on top of that I was offered a big ass investment to get it started. Who could ever say no!

So I moved down here and got started. Gathered information, worked with architects to get the perfect drawings, inquired all my restaurateur friends about layout to maximize efficiency and workflow, changed sprinklers and inspected AC units, registered the LLC, met with engineers, planned the menu, made a careful study of the market, visited every vegan and vegetarian restaurant and juice bar, made a solid marketing plan, organized for construction, applied and received grants, started socializing and spreading the word, had conversations with future employees, visited the building department, dealt with regulations and restrictions...

But in the midst of preparations and the down-times in which I had to wait for anything from drawings or engineers to call me back, I’ve started to had this nagging voice in my head saying: This is not what you had envisioned of a life of peace and freedom. All this stress with administration, regulation, organization, financial planning and marketing strategies doesn’t rhyme with the simple life philosophy which you have searched for and gained in recent years. Was this the reason you set out on a long sail? I thought it was to gain clarity, peace and perspective, to find a way to live simpler and better understand the conditions of the human mind and heart.

Looking back at a text I wrote a couple years ago, about the perfect place to live. ~ Find it here ~ Not many of those points coincide with the culture and spirit of Miami and the United States. Old readers know that it had never been Alex’s and my vision to sail to America when we set out on our long world sail 5 years ago. After a few years of sailing the Med, Caribbean and South America, we literally only came to the US of A to make and save up some money. Because that is something anyone hard working can make a lot of in this country. The opportunities are endless if you put your mind to it. 

So going back to what I as a human being really want from life, money is not what drives me. And even if it’s a necessary evil, I must realize that I don't have to sacrifice the true happiness of my soul to achieve it. I figured by the time my company had paid off the investment and made good profit, I would be exhausted from working 18 hours a day seven days a week and I would be another five years older. Probably not much happier. I would have worked my ass off to one day achieve what I literally can have today (referring to the concept of my previous post). I would have paid god knows how many thousand dollar in taxes to a country whose political system, lack of real democracy, its weapon and war sponsoring, the destructive food and pharmaceutical industries, the relentless materialism and commercialism - all what I strongly dislike and see as failure of a society and which is working against humanity.

And how much have I missed being close to my family and friends.. Most of my closest friends that all live in Europe are either still doing their PhD or have a bunch of kids so travel overseas for them hasn’t been very easy. And would I now open my place, there would be no chance in the world that I could take off for a week or more and leave my business with 15-20 employees to take care of themselves within at least the next three years. I get tired and sad just thinking about it..... It is not what I want out of life. But it has definitely been a very healthy lesson that has taught me to listen to my heart even further. To really define and live up to my values. No I will never get the time and money back that I've invested so far, but I've learned so much.

So what was my real dream, the one I put on pause and which I thought I couldn’t achieve just yet? Living near the sea. Gardening my own organic food. Running a small ten tables tops outdoor tavern with food of the day served from the kitchen of the house in which I live. Sea view and walking distance to the beach. A healthful, genuine atmosphere and simple but authentic people as neighbors. Peace, calm and quietness and lots of time and space for inner reflection. Closeness to my friends and family. Time and room for just being, breathing, reading, writing, photographing, cooking, sharing, learning, feeling, appreciating mother nature and its magic... that is who I am and I can't deny it.

We will always run into temptations. Some of which seems so alluring that we might lose the footstep for a while. At least that’s what happened to me. Though I wouldn’t ever want to be without these insights, as the experience is what made me redefine my values and really plant them into solid ground. I’ll tell you more about my move at a later time, but I have now seven weeks left in the US and then I’m finally flying back to my beloved Mediterranean. Will make the best of this time remaining and appreciate all the good that this country offer. I am thankful and happy for many things America has given me, one of the best things (besides the friendships made) is of course my degree in holistic nutrition that I have started to work towards, and which will be of great value anywhere I go and whatever I do in the future.


If anyone is looking for a great location in the heart of the historic district in downtown Miami, do let me know. The space is available for any sort of business. It will be THE perfect spot now that they are opening Miami Grand Central train station just a block away in 2016, not to mention every other huge project that is being built there as we speak. Jonas, the landlord is a good old friend of mine and he'll take good care of you. Rent is also very sympathetic in the first couple years.


  1. It must have been a difficult decision, but it seems to be a good one. I can really relate to getting out of the rat race, and your dream of a small organic farm and tavern sounds great. Knowing you I am sure you did the research that is needed, so good luck on this venture, and keep writing!

    1. Yes the decision was not easy but once it was made it felt like the most given. Just took a while to understand, Yes, I feel I will be writing much more now! Thank you.

  2. Wow, As much as I have been on and on following you from you launch years ago, I had hoped you settled down. You have not made any commitments in life and you seem to be aimless. A shame T. Figure it out. You are smart but too wonderlustful.
    Sorry for the harsh words but you too are also very critical of thinks you see as out of place. Go in Pease my friend....

    1. Totally fine. My commitment in life is to be truthful to my beliefs.I believe that with strong values and passion for creation you can create a pretty good life. But of course, my way of thinking/living isn't suitable for everyone.

  3. Taru,

    Been reading your blogs for a while. Have always been impressed with your maturity ( yes you are still very young) and your constant search for clarity. Keep smiling and learning, you have fans that are doing the same thing!

  4. Hi Taru,
    We've corresponded occasionally from back in the day when you and Alex were thinking about sailing to Cartegena. Its been interesting to follow the personal growth of someone on the deep path, pulled as always by the contradictions of living in a mad world. I too know the guilt that comes from living in the Empire, knowing its true face, and failing to create an escape from it. So I'm sure in moving back to the Mediterranean you have chosen the right path for all the right reasons.

    “The years thunder by. The dreams of youth grow dim
    where they lie caked in dust on the shelves of patience.
    Before we know it, the tomb is sealed.
    Where, then, lies the answer? In CHOICE!”

    Sterling Hayden,
    Master of the Schooner “Wanderer”

    1. Hi Richard, great to hear from you again! How have you been?
      Life is not easy like we stated many times before. But it sure feels good when we find our own truths and follow that guidance rather than someone else's.
      Thanks for the support.

  5. Taru, I think it admiral of you to be honest about yourself. and what you want out of life. personally, I had hoped you guys would have continued your sailing, by know you two would have been in the central pacific I am sure.

    To quote a Baz Lurhmann song; "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
    The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
    Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't"

    I empathize with this entirely. The point is, don't let yourself get trapped into this world. debt, money, work, debt, money, etc... in my opinion, what was once the American Dream, that has long been cast aside for lower wages, larger corporate returns to stockbrokers, selfishness, greed, more, more, more... They want you to get on that little wheel and run as fast as you can, they want to spend more, tax you more and keep you on the little wheel by dangling the ever smaller carrot in front of you. I believe that's why more and more Americans are dropping out of the Dream and getting off the wheel. maybe it's time we all did, and start spending more time enjoying just taking a breath and seeing what's really around us than to spend your whole life on that little wheel powering someone else's future?

    Keep your dreams alive Taru, even when they change. Dreams are our motivation, without them, we no different than the monkeys some say we decended from....

    God Bless!

    1. Sailing to the Pacific would have been amazing but the timing wasn't right. Today that thought seems very distant but who knows what future has in store.

      Thank you!

  6. Your posts really are always so though provoking and I wish you nothing but a life of happiness.

    Meg | Meghan Silva's Blog
    @MeghanSSilva on Instagram

  7. Hi Taru,
    So I have been following your blog for years now and always I felt envious of your lifestyle, but lately with the moving to the north east and then again moving down to Miami which is were I live the envy died away, It did seem that you were becoming everything that you have protested against and as I also work in the hotel/restaurant industry in Miami I was always at odds on how you would be able to keep your ideals going.
    I wish you happy travels and I hope that you manage to keep the blog going so the few of us that live through your writing and still see a little glimmer of hope in the distance. Thank you again for your writing.

    By the way I was looking forward to finally tasting some of the delicious food you are always going on about. never mind:) Keep foot loose and don't give up on your dreams,

    1. I know... subconsciously I think I knew I was on the wrong path but I kept pursuing it because I thought it would be good for me in the future. But right now is where life happens. There's no guarantee for the future. Thank you.

  8. well, good luck, my dear. if you want to grow your own food... take a look to

    almost a perfect system...or use the internet and google "aquaponics"

    1. Wow, thanks! I'm taking some gardening classes here also before I move.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. I am taking classes in permaculture which gives me a good foundation of knowledge on everything from growing in different soils, how to use compost to build nutrient rich garden beds, build fertility naturally and all that. The house to which I am moving has a big garden (only growing olive trees and fig trees there today so will be lots of other yummy stuff to plant), so I am hoping to learn the fundamental of earth plant growing and maintaining as I want to make the best of it.

      Aquaphonic gardening seems impressive, but not sure about bringing fish to the garden? Going to read more about this. Sure seems you can get good yield on very little space. In permaculture you learn that you can use fish waste water (can be bought instead of keeping fish at your house), and that is a great fertilizer as is other animal manure.

    4. And you're right, everything is available online but this course is very hands on, in the dirt, and teacher is super knowledgeable. Plus it feels good to support people that do something good for the planet. Feel very uplifted and positive after class.

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  10. Hi Taru, not surprised,,, I have lived in the US rat race-- hollow and superficial. I am very glad of your decision. You saved your self a great deal of grief, grey hair, and unhappiness. As you know contentment comes from internal sources.
    What of Alex and the boat??

  11. I too was looking forward to meeting you and eating at your restaurant .
    I live in South Florida after cruising for 4 years.
    My kids are getting big enough that we are thinking about another voyage and home schooling them.
    I would like to know what about Alex and the boat.
    Are you two broken up? Is he stil planning to continue continue sailing?

  12. enjoy the change, and benefit from every experience .... cheers, from Colorado !! you guys will do great !!


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